July 2, 2013

It is the DAILY REPORT SHOW!!! It is that time of day in which you can relax, sit down, and enjoy a nice, leisurely, EPIC REPORT!!!!!! So read my report and love my report!!!!!

I woke up yesterday horribly!!!!! I didn’t sleep at all!!!!! I was exhausted and didn’t know what to do!!!!! I clumsily walked down the stairs and had some yellow Pops!!! I opened the bag and poured them into the bowl and poured some milk into the bowl. I ate the food with a spoon (And I am sure you all interested about me eating food, but I need to continue.) I then did all of my chores, making my bed, taking trash out, etc. I then:

TIME FOR A JOKE!!!!!!!

A man walks into a bar, drinks a couple of beers, and prepares to leave. The bartender tells him he owes $8.

"But I already paid you. Don't you remember?" says the customer.

"OK," says the bartender, "if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

The man goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid or not. The second man rushes in, orders a couple beers, and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "OK, if you say you paid, then I suppose you did."

The customer goes outside and tells a friend how to get free drinks. The third man hurries into the bar and begins to drink highballs.

The bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid, and both claimed they had. The next guy who tries that stunt is going to get punched in the -- "

The man interrupts, "Don't bother me with your troubles, bartender. Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

Now here is my summary of the next three chapters in Ender’s Game:

Now Ender just got on the rocket ship to go up into space and he thought it was a little bit weird that he was climbing up to his seat and how his back faced down and how he could fall at any moment. Then they launched and went into space his instructor, Graff, was standing near the ladder and Ender was laughing imagining he was standing on his head or lying down because the way you look at things in space can be at any direction because of the lack of gravity. The man asked what Ender was laughing about and he told him and he congratulated him saying that he was probably the only one who knew that. From then on some dude named Bernard was whacking him behind the head the whole ride because he was loved by the teacher (teacher’s pet.) When Ender just couldn’t take it anymore he grabbed his arm when he tried to slap Ender and flipped him out of his seat. From then on Bernard hated him. When they got to the school they each put their hand on their bed’s locker to designate that it was theirs and Bernard and his cronies were still teasing Ender so he put a security system on his locker to protect it and figured out how to make it seem like you were sending messages as another person. So he typed in     B-E-R-N-A-R-D-space as a new person. And typed in, “Hey I like your butt, can I kiss it?” and that lost him a lot of respect and a new friend (who was the nerd of the group) named Shen. The next day all the Launchies (the newly launched in) and their instructor named Dap went to the practice room where they practiced moving in null gravity for the games they would play. They were given a gun and a suit. During that session Ender did really well at moving and met a friend named Alai. And they wondered what the guns do. So they both shot their foot and sure enough, it froze their foot so they got Shen and Bernard and decided to shoot everyone in their group, soon enough everyone was frozen and floating around. Their instructor unfroze everyone and they went to their cabin. Ender had found this game called the Giant’s Drink in which you got up to this place with a giant and you were given the choice of two drink one would kill you and one would let you pass into Candyland. But no matter what, you always died. So Ender, getting sick of the Giant, knocked over both the drink and ended up killing the Giant by scooping out his eyeballs (ewwwwww.) He then could pass into Candyland and he thought to himself, even in a game I am a murderer.

Wow right? Now back to my report!!! For lunch I had a ham, ham, ham, and cheese sandwich. My sister Touran made it!!!!!!! I loved it and I ate it and then played some computer and went to a Movin’ Shoes Run!!!!! I walked up and down the coast with Fritz!!!!! It was so much fun and then on the way home Touran had a class at a temple and she needed pants that weren’t so revealing… So the whole ride home I was without pants… ughhhh. Next I got home and had some quesadillas and chicken nuggets. They were delicious!!!!!!! Next, I played computer and went to bed. That’s it!!! I’ve been Tabasco, and I bid you all farewell. Thanks so much for reading!!!!!! (EPIC ENDING MUSIC.)